There are some dreams you almost talk yourself out of. Not because you don't want them anymore, but because life gives you very good reasons to wait.
This was one of those dreams for me.
I Was Torn
When I started my Postgraduate Diploma at Stellenbosch University, my second baby was one year and four months old. I remember feeling deeply torn.
I wanted to be home with her. I wanted to enjoy that season of motherhood and be present for the little things. At the same time, I wanted to pursue this qualification. I wanted to learn, challenge myself and grow professionally.
And if I'm being completely honest, I also wanted to do something that was for me.
Not because I didn't love being a mother. I absolutely did. And not because my family wasn't important to me. They were, and still are.
I simply wanted to grow in another area of my life too.
At the time, I wasn't sure how those two desires were supposed to coexist.
Was This Really the Right Time?
I questioned whether I was taking on too much. Perhaps I should wait. Perhaps this wasn't the right season.
Someone even validated what I was already feeling. They suggested that my timing wasn't ideal and that I should consider waiting until my daughter was three.
I understood where they were coming from. She was still so little, and waiting a little longer probably would have made some things easier.
For a moment, I genuinely considered it.
Maybe the dream could wait.
But then I started thinking about how easily “later” can keep moving.
If I waited until she was three, what would be the next reason to wait? Perhaps something else would come up. There would always be another season, another responsibility or another reason why now wasn't quite the right time.
And I realised that if I kept waiting for everything in my life to be perfectly aligned, I might never begin.
I Decided to Keep Going
So I kept going.
It wasn't always easy, and I certainly didn't have everything figured out. There were moments when I questioned whether I had made the right decision, especially when balancing motherhood, family and studying felt like a lot.
But I kept taking the next step. Eventually, those small steps added up to something I could hold in my hands.
And then I found myself standing in this picture, wearing a graduation gown and holding my qualification.
I remember looking at it and thinking, I actually did it.
When I look at this picture now, I don't just see an academic achievement. I see a decision I almost didn't make.
What the Journey Taught Me
Looking back, I don't think the person who suggested that I wait was wrong. The timing really was difficult.
But I learned that people can give you advice based on what they can see from the outside, while only you can truly understand what a particular dream means to you.
I also learned that the timing doesn't always have to be perfect for you to begin. Sometimes you have to pursue a dream while life is still happening around you.
For me, pursuing my Postgraduate Diploma didn't mean choosing my dream over my family. It meant learning how to pursue something that mattered to me while still being a mother, a wife and a woman who loved her family deeply.
I didn't have to choose between the woman I was for my family and the woman I wanted to become for myself.
I simply had to make room for both.
Maybe You're Waiting Too
I wonder how many of us have dreams sitting quietly in the background because we are waiting for the right time.
Maybe you've told yourself that you'll go back to school when the children are older. Maybe you'll start the business when you have more money. Maybe you'll pursue that idea when work settles down.
And maybe waiting really is what you need to do. But I think it's also worth asking yourself: What if the dream is worth making room for now?
Not necessarily by changing your whole life overnight. Maybe it starts with one small step. One conversation. One application. One hour you've intentionally set aside for something that matters to you.
You don't need to have the whole journey figured out before you begin. Sometimes, you just need to stop telling yourself that your dream can only matter when everything else is taken care of.
Make Room for Her
My Stellenbosch journey taught me that I can love the life I've built and still desire growth for myself.
I can be a mother and a wife and still have ambitions of my own.
I can be grateful for what I have and still dream about what could be.
Those things don't have to compete.
So perhaps the question I want to leave with you is this:
What have you been postponing because you're waiting for the perfect time?
And if the perfect time never comes, what would it look like to make a little room for the dream anyway?
Maybe you don't need the whole plan.
Maybe you just need to give yourself permission to begin.
Because sometimes, finding HER AGAIN isn't about becoming someone new.
Sometimes, it's about remembering that she was always there.
She just needed you to make room for her.