1 thing you can do to discover your strength.
In today’s blog post, I’ll share what you can do to be more aware of your strengths.
Did you know that only 17% of people know and use their strength every day? Strengths are the skills and actions that a particular individual can do well.
I recently had a conversation with someone and they told me about a meeting they had where they had to explain their strengths and weaknesses. As they were talking, they soon realized that they were very aware of their weaknesses, and when they had to talk about their best traits, they had to think long and hard. This is someone who is very brilliant, they are the best in what they do. Great as they are in many people’s eyes, they couldn't give an answer on the spot. Why are many people wired like that? They can be so quick to say everything they cannot do rather than focus on what they do well. There could be so many things that have tried to show us, time and again, that “here lies your strengths” and somehow we still refuse to accept it.
Think about it, when we catch up with a friend we are likely to give more time to the things that are not going well in our lives. We go on about the bad days at work, the feelings of not being good enough and the big milestone we haven't reached. If we cannot speak about the good things happening around us, we can get so used to seeing and hearing things from that viewpoint.
I recently met with some ladies for lunch and as we were leaving, one lady said “ when I get home, I will tell my husband you guys said I am funny and you loved my sense of humor” . There are many things that were discussed but one of the things she chose to take home was that positive comment that was made about her. Take a moment to think about the last compliment you received. How did you respond to it? Did you meditate on it days after ? Did you tell anyone about it? I bet you tried to brush it off and change the conversation quickly. You probably didn't spend much time meditating on it as you do the bad comments a stranger gives you. You got home and spoke about the horrible things that happened to you except that very nice compliment you received.
Look for hearts.
In her book “The High 5 habit” , Mel Robbins has this thing where she encourages people to look for hearts in everyday things. It could be a heart shaped cloud, on a billboard as you drive , crafted on a tree etc. I tried it one day as I was driving to fetch my kids from school. Something prompted me to use a different route. At first I tried to dismiss it but I eventually obliged. A few minutes later I saw a man selling heart shaped hanging ornaments and I saw three more hearts before I got to my daughter’s school. I couldn't believe it and I kept smiling alone in the car. I encourage you to try it one day and when you do, you will see hearts everywhere. It is impossible to see the different heart shapes and not smile. When you smile, you feel good.
Collecting compliments.
Can you start your day, from today going forward, being ready to receive a compliment? And when you do, say Thank you. Allow the person to compliment you and do not try to downplay it or change the conversation. Do not say things like “ it's nothing big”, “ everyone can do that”. Keep a track of those compliments, whether from colleagues ,friends or family. Use your notes app in your phone or in your journal to write down the compliments and the person who gave it. E.g “ You know how to put together a good presentation”_ Gavie. Similar to looking for hearts, when you set out to hear good compliments, they will come.
Creating this “collection of compliment” space will help you to be more alert of the good things people say to you. You will start to see a pattern of the things that come out strongly at work, at social gatherings etc. The next time you sit in an interview or plan an event, you will know exactly what to say about your strengths. Compliments are like money in the bank, they both give you a sense of security and nestage you can draw upon in times of need. Keeping a collection of compliments can quiet the negative inner voice that sows the seeds of doubt and despair.
When you falter in your dream, consulting your compliment “book” reminds you of the character traits that others notice about you. Compliments are also signs and signals. Go signals! There might be new things you want to try and you are not sure if this is for you or not. As you receive different compliments, use them to see what direction they might be telling you to go. You have more strengths than you might realize you do until you see them all together and notice the pattern of praise.