Who Do You Let Down First? - The Art of Keeping Promises to Ourselves.
As humans, we have an innate desire to uphold our reputation in the eyes of others. We strive to be reliable, committed, and trustworthy when it comes to fulfilling promises made to family, friends, and colleagues. Yet, when it comes to ourselves, many of us face the critical question: "Who do you let down first?"
In this blog post, I want us to talk about keeping the promises we make to ourselves.
In Numbers 30:2, God says, “When a man makes a vow…he must not break his word but must do everything he said.” I believe this also applies to the promises we have made to ourselves when no one was listening. Promising to not waste time on social media, to start our day praying and reading the word of God. The promises we make at the beginning of the year to stop excessive drinking or eating unhealthy food. Year after year, we make promises to ourselves but we fail to keep them.
We fail to do the things we know can make us better people but we can support others who want to build the same habit. We can miss our daily reading or gym time because someone needed our help with something. We gave up our rest day because we couldn't say no to a co-worker who left things to the last minute and now they need our help. We have our own plans and things we intend to do but somehow external expectations always get priority.
Despite us knowing what is best for us, hardly do we choose to do right by ourselves. I believe maintaining a balance between self-promises and societal responsibilities or expectations is very crucial to living a fulfilled life. It is good to help and give to others, whether it is our money or time but it must not come at the expense of your own well-being. I’ve heard multiple stories of people who were trying to get their siblings or friends sober who ended up being addicts because in the process of helping someone, they forgot about themselves.clearer understanding and less conflict.
Here are some Tips to help you to keep the promises you make to yourself:
1.Recognize the Importance of Self-Love: The word of God says in Matthew 22:39, “You must love your friend in the same way you love yourself.” It's essential to recognize that you are just as important as anyone else in your life. You cannot overextend yourself to a point where you start neglecting your needs and the commitments you made to yourself. Understand that keeping the promises or commitments you make to yourself shows that you love and respect yourself.
2.Create a Personal Accountability System: As much as we have check-ins with our accountability partners for the body, educational, and business goals, we must have systems in place where we check-in with ourselves. How have I been showing up for myself? Did I take some time to love myself by doing things that make me happy? Keeping a journal can be an excellent way to review your commitment to self-promises and maintain focus.
3.Practice Self-Compassion: Self-growth involves making a lot of mistakes and setbacks. In order to move forward, we have to be quick to forgive ourselves the same way we forgive others. Sarah Jakes Roberts says “ It is impossible to judge yourself harshly and love yourself fully at the same time”. You cannot believe in a better version of you while you are not accepting of your mistakes and wrong choices. You will have moments when you fail to do right but do not be hard on yourself. Show yourself the same grace you show others, you need it.
4.Visualize Success: I find that most people are quick to let themselves down because they feel they are not worth the time, money, and effort. We can move mountains for a friend or family member who wants the same things, but we cannot do it for ourselves. One way to overcome this is to have a visual representation of your new self or future self. Envision what achieving your goals looks and feels like. This mental exercise can reinforce your commitment and inspire motivation. Les Brown often says, ”Sometimes you have to believe in someone else's belief in you...until your own belief kicks in!” Share your commitments with a few people who love you and tend to encourage you; their belief in you will keep you going when yours runs low.
While one's reputation with others is necessary, one's reputation with oneself is far more important. We develop inner trust, respect for ourselves, and the ability to make a positive impact on the world around us when we prioritise and keep our word. As you go through life, keep this fundamental balance in mind and prioritise honouring yourself.